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What nobody really seems to tell you is that for every online dating success story, there are hundreds of failures: misleading (or outright fraudulent) profiles, years-old photos (at 50, that makes a real difference), awkward conversations, sexual miscues, and clearly incompatible goals. After juggling two children and a demanding job, my first marriage ended in divorce. Yes, if you don't do anything, nothing bad happens. It needed a dash of wit, a sprinkling of sass and an attractive photo. As for the photo: There's no such thing as too attractive.
That made it all the more crushing when he died of a brain tumor two years into our marriage. There were men who lived in other states and countries. And Skype relationships are pretty two-dimensional.) Men who mentioned sexual details in their profiles. (Either I'm not worth a coherent sentence or you are unable to compose one.) My first online date was at a nearby bar. My date spent an hour talking about what a long day he'd had, his allergies, and even checking out attractive women who walked by. The following night, I met a divorce lawyer for a drink. After a few more encounters in which men talked nervously and endlessly about themselves, I met a man who seemed intelligent, attractive and interested in me. It was good for the ego at first, but turned out not to be a lasting relationship.
Howard became my second husband and the love of my life. Not because I'm an exceptional catch, but because those who've been on the sites for a while tend to pounce on a new candidate. But since then, I always arrive earlier than the man on a first date to check out, rather than be checked out.) The whole thing went downhill from there.
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