Dating in your late 20s
In his defense, he wasn’t like “ok it’s been a great few days so do you want to meet my mom?
” We met for brunch and he asked what my plans were for the day.
Here’s what I learned dating in my 20s and 30s that I of going on what I thought was a great first date and then building a guy up to be so wonderful and amazing before really getting to know him.
I may be a married 30-something, but I spent the ages of 28-32 dating (mostly online) and met my husband on Tinder, so I know a thing or two about how it all works.
I obviously don’t regret diving in with Conor, but I probably could have paced myself a little bit.
For reference, we had our first date on a Tuesday and I met his mom that weekend.
It was me giving a guy a chance to reach out, and if he didn’t, it was a sign that he wasn’t right for me. Not again and again, and don’t be the only one to start a conversation, but if texting a guy is reason for him to end things, he’s not looking for a relationship.
When I dated that guy with the secret life, we were driving to dinner one night and he told me he felt like he couldn’t give me what I wanted (a relationship).
My 20-something self would have said how I wanted to make that work with him but my early 30-something self just said something along the lines of “ok, well I want a relationship and if you don’t that’s fine, but we shouldn’t keep dating.” I gave the idiot such an easy out but he said he wanted to take things slowly. If someone shows you who they really are or tells you what they want, save yourself the trouble and walk away. You’re never actually alone, even if you’re not in a relationship.
I had just stopped seeing the guy with a wife, baby, and girlfriend so naturally I went to a dark place and Conor was beginning the phase-out. No, you should not go on a first date and say how badly you want a relationship and you should try to figure out your relationship status on or directly after a first date, but I think it’s ok to make it clear that you’re looking for a relationship (with the right person).
These days, people are often looking for something “fun” or short-term, and it’s best to find out if you’re on the same page sooner than later.