Dating a married but separated man
But it’s hard to resist of falling in love with the “potential” of someone who you’re either really attracted to , who you might deeply connect with, or has something you want in this world. Dating someone who is separated is a bad situation for both parties.They had initially fallen deeply in love, and he told her that once the divorce was final, that they could start talking about planning the rest of their life together. But if he hadn’t done it in the past seven years, where was the guarantee that he would do it now in a timely fashion?So I encouraged her to have this brutally honest conversation, one of the reasons that she was attracted to him was because of the large amount of money he made, which meant going on multiple trips was effortless.No matter how much logic her and I talked about during our sessions, and regardless of how many times she said she was going to end the relationship, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Which is actually very common in these type of arrangements, is that after three years together, he finally got the divorce and started immediately dating someone else. It might be a match made in hell, but remember, someone who was independent and emotionally healthy, would never get involved with someone who is still legally married. In many cases in working with my clients who are dating people who are separated but still legally married, it comes down to presenting to their dating partner an ultimatum. That I will date you from here on out, if you sign an agreement that says that your divorce will be final within the next six months, nine months, or year.The ultimatum will have things like the day and the time that they expect a partner to be fully divorced. Between now and then, I will continue to see you, date you monogamously as long as you are dating me monogamously.
Write about the benefits of being honest in your communication with the person who is still legally married.One of the most famous celebrities I’ve ever worked with actually fell into the same trap.She was gorgeous, well known, and was swept off her feet by a guy who she believed was her night in shining armo Ur.She didn’t have to worry if her car broke down, she didn’t have to worry if she wanted plastic surgery because he would take care of all of her expenses.I also encouraged her to talk openly to him about why he was so engaged, mesmerized by having her as a potential partner down the road.