Advice for dating someone with a kid
Back then, none of my friends or peers had kids, and babies were a world away.As we get older, the chances of dating someone who has had serious relationships, divorces and kids get significantly higher."Take everything at a snail's pace early on," advises Tony Moore, relationship counsellor with Relationships Ireland. As well as getting over the usual issues in a new relationship, like when to start talking about moving in, when to meet their families etc, this is yet another milestone that you have to reach. How difficult is it for someone who has children, yet has found themselves single again, to get into the dating scene? A friend of mine, Niamh*, met her current partner when her oldest daughter was about two years old.She met him on a night out, and as they struck up a friendship first, he knew about her daughter from the beginning."The fact that I was happy and self-sufficient with her, and not looking for a 'daddy', stopped him being scared off," she says.The simple truth of getting involved with someone who has a child is that the child will always, and should always, come first.If the relationship progresses, and things get more serious, it will get even more complicated.
It sounds heartless, but at the beginning of a fledgling relationship, the slightest thing can turn someone off."Children may worry that a new person could replace them in your life or replace their other parent in theirs," warns Geraldine Kelly, One Family's Director of Children and Parenting Services."Certainly, people who have children will have additional considerations when establishing a new relationship," Kelly goes on to advise.Looking back, it's hard to tell if this was really the case, or if it was my own insensitivity and immaturity that made it feel this way.What I do know is that dating someone who had such a big commitment in their life was a big deal, and it did definitely make the relationship more difficult.